Where I had previously been stuck with inner conflicts and struggles to find my true purpose in life, satisfaction, and happiness, later in my forties, I became more confident on my journey, I learned to grow more faith and discovered my voice.
All these personal achievements were possible by connecting with my inner life and working on myself with a strong belief that as I continued this way, I would keep growing daily and everything would be alright and even better.
With my newly discovered self -worth and focus on value rather than validation, I have built my dream business, helping women across the world to create more happiness, personal power, and unstoppable success – both within themselves and in their businesses.
The ability to set goals is one of the most important things you can do to change your life.
It's important that you think in deep about where you want to be, whether it's during a month, a year or a decade from now.
The transformative process of working from inside out can be a little too challenging to accept, especially when we have already built living habits in our middle ages, but with daily practice and persistence, things will become simpler and fun.
I have to confess that I only learned about the importance of setting goals in my early 40s and I was quite surprised to see how much my life changed over the last yeas once I've learned to master this skill.
Many studies show that people who don't set goals for their life may not believe that they have full control over their lives.
In this situation, you give the power over to the environment rather than using it to create the experiences that we truly want.
***We want to control our lives and not allow any external environment to decide what's best for us, right? We have the power within us!
Don't wait for the world to change for you, change it yourself! – Kimonui Holgen
Unfortunately, many people would spend years chasing one big goal only to realize later in life that it is not what they actually wanted.
If you are ready to find out how to change and dominate your life, even in your forties is critical to understand how to set the right goals that will allow you to take advantage of your unique strengths and creativity to make sure you set yourself on the right path to unlock your untapped potential.
Here I Will Help You:
- Define your goals;
- Understand the kind of life you want to create;
- Set goals that inspire you and make you jump out of bed every morning more energized and with a greater desire to live at the highest possible rate.
You may be scared at first by setting your goals, but you will find that the challenge is more than worth it in the long run.
Remember, you are women, and women, by nature, are stronger creatures with amazing abilities.
***If changing your life in better and achieve fulfillment and more happiness is your desire, then, I have total trust in your abilities, my dear.
I hope that by applying these tips will help you change your life the way you desire and make you understand that everything in this life is more than possible as long as you Learn How To Become The Master Of Your Life And ACT As A Master Of Your Life.
How to Change and Dominate Your Life After 40
(6 Extremely Powerful Steps)
Changing a lifestyle when you are halfway of your life circle, can be pretty challenging, but is also one of the most common topics I'm facing every time I attend an event or a group meeting.
Women are talking about how unhappy they are with the current situation, the job they have to attend every day, doing the same thing each time, without appreciation or any motivation.
They generally feel kind of stuck inside and hopeless because they have a desire of changing the situation but have no idea what they want to do instead and, most importantly how and where to start.
You don't have to waste your life doing unfulfilling work my dear. There are so many options out there, you only need to look hard enough and to identify what makes you feel complete.
This is why I ‘d like to share with you my plan to make your personal life shift and understand the steps you need to take when you're looking for answers to the same question that bothered me for years on How To Change and Dominate Your Life After 40 and Beyond.
1. Prioritize Your Goal Setting List
When I first started my journey on changing my life, in my early forties, I couldn't figure out what exactly is a goal and how it should look like.
Your goals give you a lifetime course.
Only when I start learning about my brain and the way it works, everything made sense and I was able to create my goals by giving my subconscious mind precise directions to help me achieve those goals.
***Our subconscious mind is a powerful machine and an understanding of how it works is a major part of successful goals.
It continuously analyses the world around looking for information relevant to the specific instructions (our goal) that we are giving it. I like to picture it as a GPS.
♥ Setting Goals Empowers and Motivates You
When you begin setting your own goals, you start making the conscious decision to become the creator of your own life and start taking responsibility for every aspect of your life, you stop giving your power away.
***What would you do differently today if you knew that it is possible to earn ten times more than you do now in five years' time, where you wanted to be in twenty-five years, or even how long you wanted to live?
♥ Setting Goals Increase Your Self-Esteem
Understanding exactly what you need to do to accomplish these goals will not only develop your self-esteem but also reinforce it.
Part of our self-esteem, according to Nathaniel Branden, author of ‘The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, comes from a disposition to experience ourselves as competent to cope with life’s challenges. This means that with every goal that we accomplish, we will feel better equipped to deal with other goals and problems in life.
Personal happiness is directly linked to your higher self-esteem.
♥ Setting Goals Changes Your Personal Reality
Whether we achieve them or not, the setting goals process is really valuable because this is what happens:
- It gives us the opportunity to think about our future;
- It enables us to focus on our values;
- It helps us to discover what really matters to us;
- Setting goals will bring us clarity and will enable us to see the bigger picture;
- We will begin to re-create our reality and quickly realize that the dreams we previously believed impossible are in fact achievable.
From my experience, your prior limiting beliefs make it more difficult for you to obtain the life you want and deserve.
The benefit of having clear goals is that it helps you to analyze your current situation and help you to close this gap between where you are right now and where you want to be in some time.
♥ Setting Goals Improves Your Well-Being
Would you be surprised to find out that having a life purpose is one of the common characteristics shared by people that live to one hundred?
On the other hand, unfortunately, those who no longer have exciting aspirations that inspire and motivate them, stop living within a couple of years after their retirement.
By no means, I want to be dramatic here.
Experts state that many people don’t want to set goals because they are afraid of failing to achieve them.
I can't say for sure what exactly is holding you back, I can only tell you one thing,
When I start my research, looking to re-design and change my life, there was no fear behind my failure.
I am always an action taker, but I didn't have access to the right information. Organizing and planning things ahead, was never on my priority list. But I had a very strong desire for a change and create things that are bigger than me, so I learned:
- To know and understand me;
- The difference between what I wanted in life and what I really needed;
- I learned to forgive myself for all past mistakes;
- How to love myself and prioritize my own needs;
- I welcome the words ‘Yes, I Can and eliminated ‘NO' from my vocabulary.
- And the most important, setting and prioritizing my goals and that's the reason I am now able to live in the ‘NOW' moment and be grateful for each moment of my new life.
On the way I improved my overall health, I will go into more detail in another post.
2. Discover What You Really Want in Life
Now that you know why setting clearly defined goals is so important, it's time to find out what you really want.
I find that usually, people don't take the necessary time to plan and set their goals because they don't really know what they want and this can be a problem.
How we would be able to change our lives if we don't even know what we really want?
Here, I can totally understand you.
At this stage, you're probably thinking: ‘I am 41 for God's sake, there is no way I'm going to start dreaming now, my life is the way it is and I can't start over again and face any more challenges, I've done my part' – right?
When I had my food business and working around 70h/week, at the end of a day I was completely drained. Setting life priorities would be the last thing I could possibly do.
Life can be difficult, and I know from my own experience that it can be even harder when you've had numerous disappointments along the way.
Life wasn't very generous to me, and I faced many disappointments, I was confused and I couldn't understand what exactly is the purpose of my living.
I always had the feeling that life can offer me more than that, but I couldn't see it until I said ‘STOP‘.
I really had to stop everything I was doing and analyze my life.
- Is this the life I desire?
- Can I possibly understand and find the reason I came into this world?
- Does happiness truly exist? If so, how can I define that
- Who am I?
- What it is that I really want in life and how can I create it?
All these questions and much more came in my mind and I was wondering if I was the only one asking this.
This is how I begin searching for answers.
Many people know exactly what they want in their lives and can achieve even their most prominent dreams as a result, but for the rest of us, all we need to do is to take a moment and pause.
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. ~ My favorite quote and life moto ❤
Reflect a few minutes on your current life situation and if any of those questions or similar are getting through your mind, then you must know that it is not so hard to find the answers you are looking for.
You should sit in meditation for 20 minutes a day, unless you're too busy. Then you should sit for an hour. ~ Old Zen Adage.
We all see things we would like to have, we all have desires to live new experiences, to see different parts of this world one day, we all come across new opportunities that we should have been taken.
Unfortunately, we all have been brainwashed from an early stage of our existence that wanting to live a bigger and better life is selfish or you need to be born with specific skills or you should have been born in a different part of the world – but it isn't like that at all.
***To help you discover what you want from your new life, this may be helpful:
◊ Write Down
Write down all things that create pain to you, on any level: your health, your financial situation, family, your body weight, friends, write down your emotions and the way you feel about each subject.
Don't overthink it, just write naturally as it comes in your mind at the moment.
How would you feel to know that everything that causes you any form of pain can be transformed and turned into a concrete goal, that kind of goal that simply turns every problem into its complete opposite?
All you need to do is: simply convert each problem into its opposite.
◊ Learn the Difference Between Want & Need.
We all have desires in life and this is a great thing because desires are motivational factors and it's known that people who have no desire in life, rarely achieve anything.
My burning desire to get out of my condition and change my life creates a powerful force that pushes me out of my bed every morning at 4 am, each day and forces me to take the required actions in order to see my goals achieved.
The warning here is that desires can also get out of control and lead us on a dangerous path that can harm our well-being.
Your entire life is a reflection and expression of what you desire.
If you can understand that your ‘needs' are completely different from your ‘wants', the entire process of goal setting will be much easier.
‘NEEDS ‘ – are all the things critical to our surviving that allow us to enrich our lives and also contribute to the happiness of others like our daily food, clothing, shelter, cohabitation and so on.
‘WANTS‘, are things that you don't really need, but you may think you need them. Those are all the material things that you can survive without it like getting a bigger house, even you know the rooms will be empty, owning the most expensive car just because of I don't know, to show up or to be on top of your friends, I don't know.
These are some things as an example, just came up in my mind so you can understand the difference between needs and wants, that you can survive without or things that don't make you truly happy.
Believe me or not I've come across in my life with people very wealthy and successful in their business, but for some reason, they were miserable inside. In fact, I had the chance once to talk to such a person on a much more personal level and he confessed to me that all the money he earns can't bring him happiness and fulfillment.
Why? Well, I can't answer this question.
I know this may be hard for you to understand now, but, you WILL get there.
The world WEALTH varies for each one of us. The things would make me a wealthy person, may not necessarily apply to you or another person. Wealth can be found in all the small things that are not necessarily considered to be expensive or being measured in currencies.
I am not saying that money is not good, don't get me wrong, I am just trying to touch on some points and help you discover the changes you need to make in order to achieve your true goals. In the end, we're all seeking money because it enables us to maintain a balanced life.
If money is the only thing you really desire, then, of course, you will have to focus on improving your financial situation by taking the required steps and start working to overcome your low self-esteem and slowly improve your self-worth.
But, if you have a passion for helping others and you feel like this is the true purpose that will bring you joy in life, and do something greater than you, then, by creating your true goals, the environment will begin to work in your favor, looking for all external opportunities that will then make your goals become reality and also bringing you financial freedom.
***My purpose here is to encourage you to follow your passion in life without really thinking specifically about the financial result.
Many people are blessed with amazing skills, but they are not using it just because they think that they can't build a career around it. Instead, they get into a job that they hate and live a miserable life for the sake of the ”security' of paying the bills.
What would you say if I told you there is a hidden amazing power within you that has the potential the perfect world you want to live in? A better world of true happiness, prosperity, and peace?
This immense power makes your life possible, by running through your body, causing your blood to flow, your heart to beat, your cells to regenerate, and all that happens effortlessly and without our intervention.
This power is called ‘Law of Attraction' and I'm pretty sure you heard of it by now, but probably you didn't pay attention to it. I am talking more about this law in a different post.
◊ Brainstorm Your Goals and Make Your Dream Real
This step is probably one of the most important things you have to do. You should not rush with this step. Take as much time because here you will have to take your magic pen and your planner and make a list of all your goals.
I suggest you come up with as many things as possible that you want to achieve throughout your life.
Start with the smaller dreams that you know you can reach in a shorter period of time, and mention the time also; for example, if you want to lose on weight 5 Kg within two months, put down the exact amount of time you want to achieve this. The small goals must be achievable, but not too easy.
Once you go down the list your goals must get bigger and bigger.
Before you race off to do that, you have five things to keep in mind:
- Your goals must excite you and must be yours. Do not set a goal just because is going to make happy a loving person. This is not your goal and in time is going to drain you off. Your goals must excite you and scare the hell out of you at the same time. And this is perfectly normal. You just need to understand that fear is a normal part of life that comes into play when we extend the boundary of our comfort zone. Embrace it and don't run away from it.
- Your goals must be specific. When you set a time frame life ‘by June' or ‘by summer', you give your goal some deep and accountability. As you go down the list an get to the bigger goals, some of them may take a longer time to be achievable, but if a goal is set too far in the future, it will be a bit harder to keep yourself motivated and on track. The best thing to do is to break this goal into smaller chunks and make it achievable within a time frame of 12-month max.
- Your goals must be measurable. This is very important as you want to have a start and a finish point or else you will never know if you achieved them or not.
- Your goals must be positive. You need to be very careful about the way you put your goals in a phrase. The last thing you want to do is to use negative terminology.
Let me give you some examples here as would be much easier for you to understand:
- To lose (lose→negative word) weight and get thinner (bad goal-setting).
- To eat healthier and exercise more to fit in my new jeans size 10 by the end of May (good goal-setting).
- To stop (stop→negative word) my corporate job and become an entrepreneur (bad goal-setting).
- To start my new online business and launch it by the end of June (good goal-setting).
- Not (no→negative word) to be lonely anymore (bad goal-setting).
- To meet my other half by the end of the year 2020 and experience beautiful things together (good goal-setting).
3. Find Your ‘WHY'.
When you create a big goal in your life, it's essential to discover the real, underlying reason WHY you want to achieve that goal, being completely honest with yourself.
Your big ‘WHY' might be financial freedom and traveling the world, or find happiness for yourself and your family, or to become an online marketing queen or create something bigger than you and build your legacy.
***When you connect in with your WHY, it is a sign, you really find your POWER.
Changes might be created in a minute or in a month, but it all depends on you and only you. I am here to help you see the steps, but your mission is to empower yourself and take action.
If you feel like you're floating through life right now, you're feeling insecure, you're missing the motivation which enables your goals and desires to be meaningful to you, start thinking about what's really important to you.
- What are you passionate about that brings you joy and excitement?
- What kind of things put you in action?
- Remember, you are a woman, what's your unique strength/ability/brilliance?
- What makes you smile and what makes you cry?
- Is there anything you always wished to do, but you never had the gut for it?
Now try this:
- What's wrong with my life? __________________ (fill in the blank)
- Why? ________________________________ (fill in the blank)
- Goal: _________________________________ (fill in the blank)
Ok, my ladies, by now you should have got clear on your mission statement and you also find your ‘WHY' right?
It's time to see how we can use it to support your goals.
What I usually do is set a goal for a maximum of 12 months in the future and I find that works really good for me so I will advise you to do the same.
So, set your goal for 12 months time frame of achievement and work backward to identify where would you like to position yourself on your journey towards this goal in three, six and nine months' time. These quarterly goals will help you to stay on track and they provide the perfect time frame to make a burst of effort, without getting burned out.
- My 12-month goal is ________________
- My nine-month goal is _______________
- My six-month goal is ________________
- My three-month goal is ______________
Now comes the fun part. 😉
Here is the point where you need to consider what exactly you need to do and who you need to be on a monthly, weekly and daily basis, in order to achieve those goals.
I don't take BS… Or any excuse here OK?
Sorry ladies, you lived forty years or so and things are not working too well, right? Then is time to FU..NG change the world OK?
Now, back to our mission.
What do you need to do in order to achieve your goals? Take out your journal and jot down the following:
- Do you need to be more consistent?
- You need to take up any training, programs and learn new skills?
- Or maybe you need to wake up one hour earlier each morning?
- Listening to anything positive and motivational each day to remind you about your mission will help you make progress?
- Take yoga classes to help you with your meditation session.
What is exactly what you know you need to do each and every day in order to bring you one step closer to your ‘Big Dream'?
- The things I need to do each month are __________________________________________
- The things I need to do each week are ___________________________________________
- The things I need to do daily are _______________________________________________
- Who I need to be in order to reach my goals is ______________________________________
- How I will remind myself of my Big Why reason daily is _______________________________
There's nothing to stop us when we connect with our passion, get clear on our purpose and link our goals with our ‘WHY'. We're becoming happier and more engaged in our life.
4. Connect Your Mind, Body, and Spirit
My online journey started when I was searching for answers about how to change my career and live a meaningful life, just as you are probably doing right now.
In my struggles to get things to make it work, I have come to realize that we are all made up of three different levels: body, mind, and spirit.
- Our body is made up of skin, organs, cells, bones, muscles and so on;
- The mind is made up of billions of neurons and circuits where we store all our thoughts, emotions, feelings, ideas, all our programming, just like a computer hard drive;
- The spirit is that part of us that is eternal pure energy.
Over the last 200 years or so, science has investigated human anatomy and they are endless testimonials based on testing the power of our mind and the way our brain operates and this is what I really had to understand myself first in order to make that life shift and start building this amazing online business.
I totally believe that this is exactly the first step to take up in your new life-changing journey regardless of the fact that you are looking for financial freedom, health or relationship improvement or even to reverse the aging process which is also possible.
On the other hand, our spirit is yet to be understood. Things like the Law of Attraction, life after death, Good are still mysteries and controversial because of the lack of concrete evidence to support them, but just because you don't understand something doesn't mean it's not true.
It's all part of evolution: Truth Changes!
We are so much more than only our bodies and minds: we are also spiritual beings.
When we start nurturing the spiritual side of our life, suddenly our life becomes more joyful, I am not quite sure how, but when we combine all three aspects – mind – body – spirit – somehow amazing things start happening in our lives.
I am not contesting that are many successful people that only utilize the power of their body and mind along, but if you add the third element (your spirit), your new life journey will become easier. Instead of fighting through the jungle, you will receive unconditional support that only your spirit can provide.
I cannot explain the exact process and how things happen, but I don't really want to know, all I need to know is that works and I am not looking for an explanation.
I find that opportunities will present themselves at the perfect time and the right people would come into my life just when I need them most. And this is more than I can ask for.
I'm a bit over 40 at the time writing this post and one of my goals for this year besides growing my business and helping as many women as possible to shift their life by inspiring them is to completely change my body and get stronger.
I desire this change for many reasons:
- To be proud of me and enjoying looking into the mirror, as my skin maintains elasticity;
- Delay the menopause period as much as possible and also, when the time comes, to avoid all unpleasant symptoms;
- Live a longer, healthier life on higher standards and not ending at the mercy of others at the age of 60.
- I still want people to look at me with admiration and appreciation and probably even more than before.
All about my body transformation process in a different post. What I wanted to point out is that I cannot expect to go to the gym for a month and have that perfect physique for the rest of my life, right?
So, the more I connect with my inner spirit, the more joy, pleasure, and power I will receive in my day-to-day life to keep working and achieving my goals.
All you need to do is to create a daily routine (ritual) of going within, via whatever method works best for you.
For me, the best way to connect with my spirit is via meditation and visualization. For you can be by spending time by yourself in Nature or by praying.
Meditation is known to have many health benefits such as:
- Lowering stress, reducing blood pressure and the risk of cancer, depression, and anxiety;
- Improve your focus, concentration, and memory;
- Develops skills such as discipline and commitment;
- But the real benefit of meditation is learning to pause in life and really be in ‘NOW' as it can help you to gain greater awareness, more powerful prospectives, connect with yourself and take a more proactive approach to life.
But this is only my method and I am here to inspire you. You just need to find the best method of connection that works for you. You will know what feels right.
5. Start Believing Your Goals Are Possible
Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself ~ Rumi
Let's make some things clear: in order to change your life, you need to achieve your goals, and so, in order to achieve your goals, you need to start believing they are feasible.
This makes sense, isn't it?
If you have any doubts whatsoever, you are simply going to slow yourself down, or, even worse, you set yourself up for failure.
It's critical to implement the right believes to ensure your victory.
You can steer your life in the right direction and change anything you want: your financial situation, your health, your relationship, your house, only if you start believing it's possible.
One of the most powerful methods to program your mind and truly believe that your goals are going to be achieved is by using daily positive affirmations or practicing visualization.
Affirmations are nothing new and I am pretty sure you read other blog posts about it and you have at least a small amount of knowledge about it.
By affirmations, I mean repeatedly saying your new belief to yourself, over and over again, either out loud, in your head, or write them down daily 22 times in a row three times a day.
I know this might sound a little odd, to begin with, but has been proven that doing so you create a new pathway in the brain.
There are many ways you can do your daily affirmations and remember they don't necessarily have to be made out loud:
- You can repeat them in mind – this makes it easy depending on where you are;
- You can record them on an MP3 and play it when you are cooking your dinner, cleaning up your house and even before going to bed (very powerful as this will be the last thing your brain will absorb);
- Write them on a Post-it note and place them all over your house: on your bathroom mirror, on your fridge, on your laptop, in your personal journal, anywhere you know you can see them, but on the other hand, make sure not everyone that comes and visits you can see them. Keep them as private as possible so only you and your family would be able to see them. New beliefs tens to raise eyebrows!
- Repeat your affirmations every time you are taking a shower when you are doing your walk in the park when you are washing when you go to bed and when you wake up in the morning;
- Standing up an saying your affirmations looking in the mirror is a very powerful way and it can be slightly intimidating at the beginning but you will get better by practicing.
I like to repeat my affirmations every time I am driving.
I love driving and for me, this is my moment because I am by myself and I can shout as loud as I like. 😊
While you use your affirmations is very important to put some emotion behind it. Imagine and feel what it actually feels like to be living the affirmation and include a dynamic feeling word like ‘grateful'.
It's vital that your affirmations become part of you and feel an emotional connection in order to work effectively. For this use the word ‘I' to make it personal.
Also is important to keep your affirmations in the present tense by using ‘I AM', avoid using negative words and be clear and specific.
In order to keep you focused and excited about your goals, I want you to create a future vision of your life as you have actually achieved them.
If you talk to any successful people, from entrepreneurs to authors, from business people to Olympic athletes, they all are going to tell you that they could see their success long before it happened and this because they play their events through in their minds before the real thing.
Every time I imagine and visualized how I want my life to be, I feel a sense of happiness, peace, and excitement.
I use visualization every night before my bedtime and I drift off to sleep with ease because it feels so good.
Ever since I started doing this, slowly, all things I imagined would start to manifest in my life. I start building my online business and achieved the freedom I never had before, we moved into a new house, I have been able to spend more quality time with my family.
Just 10 minutes of creative visualization a day will change your life in unimaginable ways. Unfortunately, most of us don't believe in the power of their own imagination. Don't underestimate this magical power. Take advantage and use it as much as possible. It is free and is yours to play with.
While visualizing, use images, smells and sounds to make your mental image as real as possible and keep it positive.
6. Plan Your Way to Success
Ever since I learned about the power of planning, I write down in my planner all the steps I need to make on a daily base to help me stay organized and make sure I complete all necessary actions that will bring me one step closer in achieving my goals.
If you set your goals, but you haven’t developed an adequate plan, then you will be relying on nothing but luck and have no guarantee that you will ever be going to achieve your goals.
Creating an action plan means that you will have to examine your goals and figure out each and every step you need to take in order to accomplish them
My daily success planner helps me block out time to complete high-priority activities, making sure I am taking consistent actions towards accomplishing my goals without being overwhelmed and avoiding to jump from one task to another.
Put it All Together
The beauty of life is that anything is possible.
Put it all together takes three steps:
- Plan: Set a clear cristal goal and make a plan to achieve it in a series of small, manageable steps.
- Focus: Set aside time to complete each step, no matter what. One at a time.
- Commit: Do everything possible in order to check off your list every single step. Get in the zone. You set aside the time already, so make use of it.
I am more than confident that I made you at least thinking about how powerful these tips are in achieving your life's most significant goals.
Also, it's important to note that you're only as good as the last step you took.
So, you've done the hard bit of creating your life-changing goals and you are well on your way to making the necessary changes.
How does it feel? I would say ***FANTASTIC.
You are now probably be wondering: ‘Does my evolving journey ever end?'
Honestly, I don't know. I am still traveling.
But I can assure you that as you live in line with your goal setting blueprint and connected to your inner spirit, your life will be blessed in ways you simply cannot imagine.
One thing I want you to remember, we are only human beings and we are here to create and experience life at both ends of the spectrum, light, and dark, success and failure, hot and cold. We cannot experience one without the other or life would be boring and dull.
Life will still throw us sometimes tough challenges, but how we deal with them is the key. And when things get a little rough, let go and know that will soon pass.
This is life, my dear friend. Appreciate it for what it is and try to see the beauty in everything.
Ah, and if you are still concerned about your aging process, please keep in mind that:
Aging Is A Privilege.
Finally, before I close this;
Let me know in the comment box below. I would love to hear from you.
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